apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize