Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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