Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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