if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
