Please, let me fuck your mom
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
