Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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