her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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