Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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