when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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