Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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