He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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