He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
