hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
