You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
