I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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