this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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