I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
