Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
