We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
