I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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