The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
