Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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