Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
