gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
