Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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