A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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