Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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