with your own penis?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
