There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
