dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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