i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
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They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
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Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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