Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
