Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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