quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
