Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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