Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
