Im at strip club and am horny
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
