what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
