4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
