Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.

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(508): hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose. http://tfl.nu/ylto

Replies (22) Good night (1302) Bad night (1081)
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(510): View more from California

I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

(702): View more from Nevada

Are you high?

(510): View more from California

No. That's why it's odd

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(510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok

Replies (5) Good night (2399) Bad night (783)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

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(603): i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol http://tfl.nu/nbdg

Replies (28) Good night (6069) Bad night (688)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

(804): View more from Virginia

i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

(786): View more from Florida

that would mean it's on tape

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(804): i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately. (804): i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof. (786): that would mean it's on tape http://tfl.nu/zipf

Replies (6) Good night (4018) Bad night (1043)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.

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(734): Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual. http://tfl.nu/o9rr

Replies (18) Good night (4125) Bad night (1052)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

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(775): You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes. http://tfl.nu/wxud

Replies (22) Good night (1329) Bad night (5126)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

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(443): Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan. (410): Sounds like a normal friday night http://tfl.nu/c2vx

Replies (2) Good night (2121) Bad night (1048)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.

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(519): He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire. http://tfl.nu/chwr

Replies (11) Good night (942) Bad night (1263)
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(850): View more from Florida

I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.

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(850): I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ocap

Replies (7) Good night (1759) Bad night (747)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.

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(412): So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt. http://tfl.nu/8gk3

Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (1220)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.

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(515): Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours. http://tfl.nu/5w5c

Replies (5) Good night (1744) Bad night (448)
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(425): View more from Washington

'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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(425): 'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight. http://tfl.nu/r78k

Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (459)
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(419): View more from Ohio

She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.

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(419): She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/4ytr

Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (358)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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(740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy

Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (352)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices

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(519): He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices http://tfl.nu/4vlb

Replies (0) Good night (148) Bad night (252)

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