Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one

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(716): there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one http://tfl.nu/1wzf

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(503): View more from Oregon

You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

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(503): You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit! http://tfl.nu/d8vz

Replies (9) Good night (555) Bad night (3177) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?

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(305): So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even? http://tfl.nu/nzpq

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(416): View more from Ontario

you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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(416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl

Replies (92) Good night (32318) Bad night (1617)
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(631): View more from New York

It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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(631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates. http://tfl.nu/ctme

Replies (19) Good night (1250) Bad night (5084) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

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(805): Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible. http://tfl.nu/a85b

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(925): View more from California

So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.

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(925): So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/hust

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(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

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(201): Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her. http://tfl.nu/wlqs

Replies (26) Good night (4962) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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(310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r

Replies (25) Good night (3427) Bad night (571)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.

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(807): I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/yivs

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(503): View more from Oregon

I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.

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(503): I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life. http://tfl.nu/c2dk

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(970): View more from Colorado

I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.

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(970): I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life. http://tfl.nu/eqcg

Replies (21) Good night (1295) Bad night (962)
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(646): View more from New York

Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls

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(646): Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls http://tfl.nu/z0xl

Replies (10) Good night (753) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt

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