Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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