i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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