yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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