I wannas sexs uuuuu
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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