Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
