I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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