How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
