After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
