South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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