i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..