I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.