When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.