Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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