you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
