I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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