We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
