Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
