Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
