Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
