Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
