what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
