so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize