New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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